brb suicide - Ch 06

brb suicide
By Kitteh and NeoFox
Rating: PG
Warnings: It’s gay ya’know. It’s gay.
Disclaimer: Smeets will eat our souls if we dare claim Invader Zim.  So yeah, Jhonen can keep his smeets of DOOM!  We just want to borrow Zim and Dib for a fic, so calm yourselves.
Summary: ZADR. AU. A bass backwards universe in which Dib is just your regular tom-emo in middle skool, his father isn't the renowned Professor and Zim is actually smart and oh so fabulous.
Beta: Lint

Chapter 06

Lockers slammed closed one by one, and the warning bell rang, causing each student still in the hall to panic. Through it all, Dib stayed calm, letting everyone pass by him as he shoved what he didn't need into his own locker. The talk from the last couple of days had died down a bit as people got bored with the rumors, but some of it was still floating around, just enough to get on his nerves.

After just a few more minutes, Dib finally shut his locker and slung his bag back over his shoulder. Instead of heading towards class, his feet took him towards the office, which held a place he dreaded. He was grateful for the silence of the walk, having no Zim to bother him, and at the same time, a little surprised the other teen hadn't hung all over him right when he came through the skool doors.

"Whatever, probably got lost on his way here." The words left Dib's mouth as he stopped in front of the wooden door that would take him inside the counselor's office. With a heavy sigh, he lifted a hand and knocked.

"Come in, Dib!" an ever so energetic and cheerful voice shouted from the inside.

That voice had Dib cringing before he dropped his hand to turn the knob on the door. With one quick twist, he opened the door to let himself into the familiar setting, closing the door quietly after. Without even speaking, he did his normal routine of dropping his bag by the door. After that, he didn't move an inch except for placing his hands in his pockets and looking anywhere but at the other figure in the room.

"Now, now, Dib. You've been here long enough to not be a stranger. Come." The counselor gestured to the usual seat before him. "Sit. Tell me how you are feeling." He pressed his hands together on his desk, voice oh-so-pleasant and perky.

With those words, Dib finally walked forward and took a seat. As soon as he sat, he immediately slouched down until half his body was nearly off the bottom of the chair. The entire time he kept his eyes averted, even as he started speaking. "I'll tell you the same thing I always tell you each time I come in here. I feel like this is just a waste of time and that you're stupid for even asking." He finally turned narrowed eyes on the man in the room.

The man briefly closed his eyes to nod as he listened. "I see." He leaned forward in his chair, furrowing his thick brows as he looked Dib's expression over. "Are you sad Dib? You look particularly sad today. Is there something bothering you?" The counselor tilted his head in a sympathetic fashion. "Is someone bullying you? Hurting you? How are things at home? Tell me what's bothering you." He reached over and grabbed a green alien squeaky toy stress reliever. He gave it an idle squeeze and its eyes bugged out.

"Nothing's...." Dib was about to continue on with his usual words, but stopped. He suddenly didn't feel like repeating himself for once. Instead, he gave the strange toy that the other held a long look. After a few moments, he clacked his tongue piercing against his teeth a couple of times before looking down at his feet and finally answering. "It's not really that important, Mister Dwicky. Just normal skool stuff."

"Of course it’s important, Dib. It's obviously making you upset." The counselor gave the toy a few more squeezes, making the eyes pop out with each. "Talking about it will make you feel better. Take the weight off your shoulders. So share. Share with me the real problem." Mister Dwicky folded his hands together, the alien toy sandwiched between palms. He tilted his head in a concerned fashion. "Tell me what's bothering you, Dib."

Dib lifted his eyes once more. "That's what you always say." He let out a harsh sigh after he spoke and started to kick at the desk. It would have been easy for him to tell the other that he was being manipulated by the new student. That Zim was the one making his life even more miserable. Those weren't the exact words that left him, though. "I've been hanging around the transfer student, Zim."

"Ah." Mister Dwicky nodded affirmatively. "And how is the new student adjusting? What's he like?" He smiled widely, much too widely at Dib. "It's good to hear you're finally making a friend. Very good. So what's troubling you then?"

Dib rolled his eyes at all the questions, especially the first two. "He's adjusting just fine. I had to show him around the skool." He finally rested his foot back down and moved up a bit in the chair. "It was annoying at first, but it didn't turn out so bad, I guess." Without really realizing it, one of his hands fell to his stomach to fiddle with his piercing. "He's really clingy and he's very lewd. He's so weird." Dib blinked his eyes and looked down as he finally realized what he was doing and quickly stopped himself. He let his hand drop back down and looked away, more than embarrassed. "Nothing is troubling me."

The alien toy gave a squeak as it was squeezed again between the counselor's hands, its eyes bugging far from its face. "Weird? Weird how?" Mister Dwicky seemed to ask very carefully.

"Weird like-- I don't know." Dib shrugged his shoulders before going on. "I bugged him a couple of times to tell me where he was from because he has this weird, green skin, but he wouldn't really tell me." He turned his eyes back on the toy Mister Dwicky was holding. "He did tell me the skin thing was some kind of birth mark. Some kind of family thing, I think." He narrowed his eyes a bit. "Does it really matter?"

The counselor's eyes snapped wide with the new squeak of the rubber toy in his hands, his eyes bugging out to almost rival that of the alien he held. Slowly, his lips peeled from perfectly white teeth into a wide, anxious smile. "Green skin, you say? My, that is unusual. Very unusual. Very, very, very, very, very unusual." Mister Dwicky started squeezing the alien toy at intervals. "Is there anything else very unusual about your Zim friend?"

Dib shut one eye closed in annoyance at the squeaking. "Not really. I'm just helping him with an essay right now. I haven't really been able to get to know him that much." He finally turned his attention back up to Mister Dwicky and blinked his eyes. The sudden look on the other's face had him feeling a little uneasy. Although the man wasn't known for being the sanest person in the skool, Dib was still getting used to that fact. "Yeah, that's pretty much all I know."

"A transfer student this late in the year... seems a bit unusual." Mister Dwicky looked down at the alien toy for a moment before raising his analyzing gaze on Dib. "What about how this new student talks? Does he say strange things that have no real meaning? Does he have any extra appendages, or is there anything unusual about him physically aside from the green skin... that doesn't seem normal?" The counselor's eyes grew widest at the last word.

"Of course he talks weird. He's a transfer student. He's probably from a different country." Dib had almost shouted the words back at the other and it had him shaking his head to try and calm himself down. "There's nothing wrong with him. He's got two arms, two legs, and a head." He moved down further in the chair, suddenly wanting to be invisible. He didn't know why he was getting so upset. Mister Dwicky could have asked about Zim all he wanted. It really shouldn't have mattered. "You're looking too far into this."

"There's only one explanation for what's making you so miserable Dib.." Mister Dwicky looked about shifty eyed before settling his eyes on the other with knowing in his narrowed beady eyes.

Dib raised a brow and tried to stay calm, but at the same time, it was obvious that the other's attitude was making him a little nervous. "I'm going to hate myself for asking this." He just barely leaned forward to make it seem as if he were interested. "What, oh great and wise counselor, is making me miserable?"

"Zim -- IS AN ALIEN!!" Mister Dwicky rose fast to his feet, his chair toppling back, and thrusted the green alien squeak toy in Dib's face; it gave a little squeak. "He's using his powers of mind control to.,. uhhh.., make you feel bad! I've read about this before."

Dib moved his hand up to push the toy, which was invading his personal space, aside. "And you're a crackpot." He leaned back in the chair once more and kept his gaze pinned on the other. "Weren't you talking to me last month about how you thought the janitor was some kind of vampire or something?" He crossed his arms over his chest. "Did you get bored of that?"

Mister Dwicky pointed with the hand that still held the squeak toy. "He IS a vampire! I have proof!... he just, uh, flushed it." He stood back. "But this time I'm sure. Zim is an alien! Green skin. Green skin!? He probably has you doing his dirty work.. For his 'essay'? No, world domination! And making you depressed at the same time." He leaned forward again, his brows furrowing. "Do you cut yourself Dib? ..When you're sad."

Dib narrowed his eyes at Mister Dwicky. "You're a moron." He kept his heated gaze on the man for a few moments until he finally looked away and continued speaking. "You believe in such stupid things. You have no proof that Zim has any plans for whatever world domination. You're so secluded in your own little world that you think up the craziest and most bizarre things and throw a fit over the first thing you deem not normal." Dib's expression changed and his eyes fell to the floor. "Zim is just Zim."

The counselor fell back into his chair and breathed a heavy sigh. "He's gotten to you. It won't be long now. His alien buddies will come down and swoop in their flying saucers and wipe out human civilization." He squeaked the alien toy a few times before setting his hand down. "Crop circles! Cow abduction! Alien probing! Clowns! Missing people! I've seen it all. Well.. on Mysterious Mysteries. But it’s real! It has to be. You're living proof that Zim is an alien: the depression, the anti-social disorder, the clothing, the piercings, the innate need to write sad stuff. It's all because of the aliens."

Dib looked back at the other with an open mouth. For a few moments all he could actually do was stare until his eyes narrowed and he finally formed words. "Excuse me. In case you were somewhere else for every session we had, I've been like this since before Zim transferred here." He gave a small huff before looking away once more. "You're going to have to find some other excuse, but you're still insane either way."

Mister Dwicky opened his mouth, but Dib had a point, so he closed it. He set the little green squeaky alien down on his desk so he could fold his hands together, and once again that wide, cheerful smile was back on his face, as if Dib had just stepped through the door again. "Alright then, Dib. So, then what's really troubling you?"

Much like before, Dib took awhile to answer, while focusing on the floor. His expression was tense as he tried to find the words to explain things. "I hate when people touch me, and I hate touching people. You know that. Just the thought of either makes me sick." He shifted around so that he could pull one leg up on the chair. "Zim wouldn't leave me alone on his first day. I kept telling him not to touch me, but he wouldn't stop. Of course it bugged me a lot, and in the end I got so aggravated that I yelled at him and stormed off." He shook his head and buried his face against his knee. "We got to talking though, and he was still annoying, but not half as bad as before. As the day went on, I just didn't realize things. It was like I didn't care or wasn't thinking about all the contact like I usually do. Only when I really realized what I was doing, did it matter."

Mister Dwicky blinked, rather surprised. He rubbed his chin and goatee rather thoughtfully over what Dib had told him. "So, what you're saying is: you don't mind it when you touch Zim? And vice versa?"

"I guess." Dib gave an annoyed sigh before he tried to explain himself again. "I still hate it. I don't like when it happens, and when I notice that either of us is doing it, I try to stop it." He blinked his eyes as he realized how wrong that could sound. The thought caused a blush to come to his cheeks, which he tried to hide against his knee. "I hate this."

"Well I wouldn't touch him anyway, Dib." The counselor leaned back in his chair. "He's an alien. You don't know where he's been. Or what he's done." He blinked and pointed "Or what he can do. Maybe, because he's an extraterrestrial being, not human, you don't mind the touch as much. Still, don't touch Zim anymore, Dib." He wagged a no-no finger.

Dib raised a brow at what Mister Dwicky said. "Isn't a counselor supposed to encourage such a change in behavior?" He sat up straight and let his leg fall back down. One of his hands rose so that it could rest again his chest, his voice mocking as he spoke. "Good boy, Dib. That's very good. You should touch Zim more often." He let his hand fall back down and gave a low snort as he looked back to the man with narrowed eyes. "Something just as stupid and pathetic as that?"

Mister Dwicky furrowed his brow and he leaned toward the desk again. "You're very angry, Dib. Is everything alright at home? You father? Your sister is doing very well for herself this year."

Dib blinked his eyes once before he quickly narrowed them in anger. His hands tightened around the edges of the chair as he spoke up. "It's amusing that you actually think I care." With those words, he looked away before answering the questions that had been asked of him. "Everything is the same as it always is. Dad is still sucking up to his boss. Nothing has changed."

"You wouldn't be angry, Dib, if you didn't care." Mister Dwicky tapped his fingers together, his eyes flicking to the toy alien before looking back to Dib. "Let's think this over, Dib. What would you like to change? What would make you happy? Is there anything that is making you happy right now? Big things. Small things. Any things."

For once, Dib thought over what was asked of him, instead of brushing the questions off. His nails tapped lightly against the edge of the chair and finally he spoke quietly. "I was happy yesterday. For a few minutes, I was actually happy." A sudden scowl came to his face and his eyes lowered a bit. "Then it was all ruined just as quickly." He stayed silent for awhile after that before he barely turned his eyes on Mister Dwicky. "It's none of your business, though."

"I'm not prying, Dib, I'm just concerned for your well being. As are we all." Mister Dwicky unfolded his hands to gesture. "That's why you're here, so that you feel better about yourself and are happy. Now, if we can pinpoint what exactly makes you happy, we can move past all your troubles, and you can live out a normal, healthy life." He re-clasped his hands together. "Then you wouldn't have to have these sessions anymore."

"I'm here because people are prying." Dib glared hard at the man for only a few seconds before he looked back down. "I don't need anyone to be concerned about me. You can keep trying to talk any kind of sense you want into me, it's not going to work." He moved his foot out to once again kick at the desk, sick of the silence in the room. "If I have to keep coming here because I refuse to listen to you, then, oh well."

Mister Dwicky took a hold of the toy again and gave it a squeeze, it squeaked, bugging its eyes out. "You skipped skool yesterday."

Dib flinched back as if the words had actually harmed him. "Yeah, well, Zim was curious about the library in the city." He shrugged his shoulders as if there was nothing wrong with such a thing. "I took him there and figured it was no big deal. He needed research for his essay anyway. Some of the stuff here in the skool just isn't all that up to date." He kicked the desk a little harder. "So what?"

"You took the alien to our city's library..." Mister Dwicky frowned considerably. "Your grades are already suffering as is, Dib. I'm sure you want to go on to hi-skool, let alone pass onto the next grade. You have to stop dragging your feet." But something else caused the counselor to do a double take. "Yesterday? So, something with Zim made you happy yesterday?" One plus one is one on a bun.

Dib grit his teeth. He really needed to learn when to keep his mouth shut. He never used to be so open around his counselor. His mind was starting to get mixed up. "Yeah, so?" He dropped his foot back down suddenly and kept his eyes on his boot.

"So what made you happy?" Mister Dwicky pressed on. "Was it going to the library with a friend? Spending time together? Being able to relax, be yourself? What was it, Dib, that made you happy?"

"I don't know. It doesn't matter. None of it matters." Dib tried his best to straighten up in the chair, but in the end, he was still just as slouched. "It was a once in a lifetime thing. You act like you expect something like it to happen again. Well, it's not going to." He had never wished so badly that a session would be over with. "You expect way too much either way."

"No. I only expect things to get better. For the world to see what I see, and know what I know. And soon--" Mister Dwicky pointed dynamically to the ceiling "the world will open its eyes to the truth! I will expose life's mysteries, and all will be at peace. For-- stuff will be solved. Hm. Yea." He lowered his hand back down and folded his hands once more on his desk. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about, Dib? Get off your chest?" The counselor smiled pleasantly once more.

Dib stared at Mister Dwicky for a few moments after his speech. He didn't realize until that moment how completely out of it the guy really was. Only being able to see him once a month didn't give him much of a chance, and Dib never paid much attention to all the gossip that went around skool. It couldn't hurt to mess with the guy's head a little more could it? Dib gave only a small smirk before he leaned forward in the chair just so he could rest his arms on the desk, his chin following. "Your alien kissed me yesterday." He failed to mention the stunt he had pulled the day before that, but Mister Dwicky had only asked about when he skipped skool.

Mister Dwicky leaned back very quickly in his chair and completely blanched. He stared at Dib, not completely sure of what to make of that. "That's... quite.. disturbing.. progress, Dib." He dead panned completely. "Yeap."

Dib raised a brow at such a response. "Really?" He leaned back in the chair, taking his arms off the desk in the process and letting them drop back down. "I thought my anti-social behavior was one of the reasons I'm here?" He narrowed his eyes on Mister Dwicky. "Shouldn't you be glad that I let Zim get so close to me? I'm letting someone near me finally." He finally looked away, but his expression was still the same. "You people confuse me."

"Well, I don't know, that all depends if you want to carry an alien child in your stomach or not." Mister Dwicky shrugged loosely. "Child birth must be messy." He shook his head. "But that doesn't excuse your absence yesterday, Dib. We've been trying to get a hold of your father, but he seems very busy. He's lucky to have such an important and steady job working for the Professor. Although I know it keeps him away from home." He tapped his fingers together. "Have you thought about what you want to do once you're finished skool?"

The first few things Mister Dwicky said caused Dib to immediately stand up and slam his hands on the desk. "You..." All he could do was let that one word slip from his lips as he glared hard at the man. His hands clenched every few seconds against the hard wood, and it didn't take long for him to realize what he was doing. He blinked his eyes and stood completely still before he sat back down, letting his eyes fall on his boots. He tried his best to act as if that one small incident had never happened by answering the one question he was asked. "Not really."

Mister Dwicky blinked hard several times, and slowly leaned forward from pressing his back against the chair. He furrowed his brows as he eyed Dib for a moment, but Dib's tantrum had seemed to have passed, and so things were back on their tracks again. "Any ideas at all? Going to go help your father in the labs? It's good work, that Real Science, it is. Pays well. Better than some." He looked about completely shifty eyed.

Dib gave a snort at such an idea. "Help at that place? I'd rather live on the street as a hobo." He shook his head a bit before raising a hand to play with one of the chains on his shirt. "Everyone that works there is a walking zombie. They do the professor's bidding and don't have minds of their own. I refuse to be like that." He let his hand fall back down. "I could care less about pay."

"I know you don't." The counselor tacked on with random empathy. "wait-- did you say- zombie?" His eyes bugged out. "Anyway, you should keep an open mind about that. Graduation isn't as far as you think. You have the rest of your life ahead of you." He glanced at his watch. "It's nearing the end, and I know you have classes to go to. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?"

Dib only gave the smallest sigh of relief that the session was coming to a close. Instead of answering, he stood up from the chair and barely gave a stretch before walking over to the door and picking his bag back up. He slung the beat up backpack over his shoulder, finally speaking up. "I think you're the one that needs the counseling, not me." He let his eyes travel back to Mister Dwicky while he leaning heavily on the door.

But the counselor was busy too writing things on an open file, most likely Dib's, to hear the other's comment. "You've made progress Dib. Albeit thanks to alien technology, but progress none-the-less. You should feel much better now. I'll be seeing you next month, same day, same time." He paused to give a wide smile. "Have a good day."

Dib kept his eyes on Mister Dwicky for a few more minutes. Finally, his hand moved to twist the knob on the door just so he could let himself out. He made his anger known by slamming the door closed behind, not caring at all what damage it would have caused, if any. He didn't even give the office a second glance before he was on his way back down the hall.