brb suicide - Ch 02

brb suicide
By Kitteh and NeoFox
Rating: PG
Warnings: It’s gay ya’know. It’s gay.
Disclaimer: Smeets will eat our souls if we dare claim Invader Zim.  So yeah, Jhonen can keep his smeets of DOOM!  We just want to borrow Zim and Dib for a fic, so calm yourselves.
Summary: ZADR. AU. A bass ackwards universe in which Dib is just your regular tom-emo in middle skool, his father isn't the renowned Professor and Zim is actually smart and oh so fabulous.
Beta: Lint

Chapter 02

It was much later in the day, an hour after lunch, that Dib had decided to cut classes and just sit out on the cement railing in the front of the skool. The teacher still thought he was leading around that good for nothing transfer student, so why should he even bother going back to class? They could keep thinking he was dragging the green kid around all they wanted, he didn't care.

Inside of the skool, there was still talk of what had happened earlier. Every now and then a few kids would come outside and stare at him as if he were some strange wonder. He tried to pay it no mind, but it was hard when he seemed to be the only reason the other kids were cutting classes. The door slammed for what had to have been the tenth time, letting another kid back inside. Dib gave out a harsh sigh and went back to the picture he was working on. It would have been easier if he hadn't of thrown the other piece away in that classroom, but what was done was done, and he had to commit to memory.

"You're pretty elusive, face-pierced." That familiar voice spoke up directly in front of Dib. "Like a naked mole-rat; sneaky and with a pink under belly." A green face peered as usual to what Dib was doing. "So, not only are we 'poetic', we're 'artistic' too." Zim tried to turn himself so he could see the upside down picture properly. "Perhaps you're better at this talent than the other." He tried to balance on one foot to peer at the drawing.

Dib quickly picked up the notebook in his lap just so he could hug it to his chest. His eyes moved up just a bit and locked onto the ones in front of him. "Yeah? Well, you're pretty nosy." He turned his eyes away and instead looked down to the ground below while still holding his notebook tightly. "What do you want anyway? I thought I was finally able to get rid of you."

"Well, for one," Zim pointed a claw towards the skool "you never finished showing me around. For two," he pointed two claws towards the skool "I'm not going in there alone with 'Slug' sludging around after me thinking I'm kind of prized female mate. For three.." three claws then pointed towards the skool. "Why is your hair piece pierced?" He jabbed a finger in the direction of the lock that stood up with the ring dangling from its middle. "If you paid monies for that, you're an idiot." He laughed slightly.

Dib gave a small pout at the laughter while allowing his arms to loosen up on the notebook at the same time. After a few moments though, his eyes hardened and he turned his gaze back to Zim. "I did it myself actually, so there." He dropped the notebook back down on his lap and turned his attention back to the drawing on the paper, running his pencil across the paper much like he had been before Zim interrupted him. "I figured you would be fine on your own. Besides, Slug knows you're a guy now, he shouldn't bother you. If he does, then oh well."

Zim crossed his arms, giving the other an unimpressed look. "Not only are you a poor tour guide, you're a neglectful boyfriend." He made a highly dramatic insulted noise, sticking his nose up in the air. "You're highly uninformative, useless, and you're handicapped." He pointed to Dib's thick rimmed glasses. "You should be taken back to manufacturer for repair. Your biological creators shouldn't have settled for less. Really, they should have tried again. For something less moody and perhaps," Zim tapped his lips thoughtfully "maybe, something in a...-nice shade of blue."

Dib just barely raised his eyes over the rim of his glasses to look Zim's way, the hint of a smirk on his lips. "Yeah, well your’s should have sent you back for something less pink and without the green tint." He let his eyes drop back down so he could once again concentrate on his drawing as he spoke. "I have no real reason to hang around you anyway, because I'm not your boyfriend. Thanks to you, everyone thinks I have some rare disease. I feel like I'm in a display case." His eyes darted over to Zim for a few seconds, but went right back to his notebook just as quickly. "The skool isn't that hard to navigate through anyway. You don't need me."

Zim 'hmph'ed, but his good mood wasn't swayed. He sidled closer to the other. "You know, since you hate being touched so much..." His sharp fingers slid down his pink shirt and tugged up the bottom, slinking closer with his lithe green middle showing; his skirt hung low on his bony hips. "You can always touch me." the boy offered with a sly grin.

Dib's head shot up just so that his eyes could stare straight at the exposed skin in front of his face. His mouth moved up and down for a few seconds while a tiny blush crossed over his face. As if just then realizing he was staring at what wasn't Zim's face, Dib quickly scooted away as far as he could on the small railing while dropping his notebook in the process. He turned narrowed eyes up at the other teen and tried to sound angry, even though there was still pink on his cheeks. "You're such a pervert."

Zim glanced down at his own stomach and narrowed his eyes back at the other. "How is that perverted?" He swayed his hips from side to side.

Dib quickly looked away from Zim, not really wanting to watch the other anymore. "Do you even listen to yourself talk sometimes?" He stuck out his tongue at the thoughts going through his head before continuing. "Saying you wanted to lick my piercing. Actually standing in the hall and licking my tongue. Touching me any chance you get." He moved his eyes back to Zim, but regretted it. "S-Saying I can touch you. It's not right, you know."

A wide grin was definitely there, waiting for Dib. "Oh, but I like it when it's 'wrong'. Wrong makes it oh-so-right. And that's what counts, right? Wrong. Right?" He quietly cackled and drew his free hand down his bare front, tracing insensible patterns all the way down, his expression going incredibly and tactfully lazy.

Dib moved forward on the railing on hands and knees until he was once more in front of Zim. One of his hands moved out to snatch the shorter teen's own to pull it away from his stomach while he glared up at the green face. "People are gonna think you're weird if you keep doing that, more so than usual, I'm sure." He blinked his eyes and looked at his own hand, which still held Zim's. With a disgusted sound, he quickly let go and sat back away from the position he was in. "Y-Yeah...anyway. I'm sure you don't want anymore unwanted attention."

Zim blinked and smoothed the front of his shirt down before looking back to Dib curiously. His grin was wide once more. "It was you who touched me this time." He raised a hand and wiggled his claws. "Zim's hand no less." Zim ‘tsk’ed and wagged a finger.

Dib had leaned down to pick up his fallen notebook, so when Zim spoke he barely gave the other a glance. "So? That doesn't mean I liked it." He brushed some dirt off a page before trying to get back to the certain one he had been working on. "You wanted help, right? I'm trying to show you how to be invisible to the society that this place has built itself upon." He stopped speaking a moment just so he could give a satisfied noise when he got back to the page he needed. He looked over what he had drawn so far before trying his best to go back to work while speaking up again. "Of course, the way you look, that would be a hard task to achieve."

Zim quirked his head. "I have yet to see such a uniform as yours, that shows so much skin, on any of the other students." he shot back. He flittered his fingers as he spoke. "Unless being invisible means showing more skin. In which the only logical choice is-- NAKEDNESS!" He threw out his arms in victory at his epiphany. "Nakedness is the ultimate invisibleness." Zim rubbed his hands together, lowering his head mischievously. "So, shall we get naked?" He squiggled his brows.

Dib took a quick glance at the other once more, but there was no real annoyance on his face, much like the times before. "I'd hate to see what you would do to me if I said yes." He tilted his head to the side and seemed to study Zim for a few moments. His hand lightly tapped his pencil up and down on his notebook in idle boredom before he actually spoke up again. "I wasn't going to ask this before because I honestly didn't care, but what happened to your skin?"

"My skin?" Zim clapped either hand on his cheeks and felt around, but found nothing out of the ordinary. "If you don't care, why ask?" He gave Dib a wry look.

Dib narrowed his eyes, mostly in embarrassment, and quickly looked back down to the paper. "Well, it's not every day we get someone with green skin transferring here. I just thought I would ask." He gave a small shrug as he went about doodling some random thing in the corner of the page. "Although, there is that one kid who has those horrible mutated feet that glow in the dark." It was hard for him to keep the smirk off his face. "He gets some attention. Some of the ravers find it fun to hang him from lamps at their parties."

Zim pursed his lips, unsure if he should be insulted or amused. "Birth mark." He finally answered Dib's question. "It's a birth mark." He nodded, affirming himself.

Dib looked up once more just so he could lock eyes with Zim. He stared at the other teen for a few seconds before he gave a small shake of his head. "Wow, remind me never to go live where you came from." He dropped his pencil on the paper just so he could lean back on both his hands and keep his complete attention on Zim. "Is everyone born with horrible green birthmarks, or were you just the unlucky one?" He could help but tease the shorter boy.

"It's hereditary." Zim answered quickly, glancing to the side. "Passed down from parental maker to son, from son to dog, to some man in Norway. Very normal. I assure you." He looked back to Dib with a wide spread of lips. "Besides, where I'm from, everyone is this colour. Maybe YOU'RE the abnormal one!" He pointed an accusing finger at the other. "A disgusting piggy colour! Pah!"

Dib raised a brow and looked down at the finger pointed at him. "Your logic scares me." He raised a hand up off the railing to grab hold of the sharp finger. "Considering you are the only green kid here, I would say you are the abnormal one." His eyes moved down to the sudden touch he himself was allowing, and he gave a small scowl, but didn't pull away. "It's not nice to point at people either." That was when he finally let go and dropped his hand back down to wipe on his pants, as if it were diseased.

Zim blinked, raising his hand to look at the grabbed finger. In the end, he made a face and wiped it much the same on his own pants. "Zim will point at whoever he wants. And today, he's point at you," he pointed again towards Dib "you, you, you, you." He stabbed at the air each time, pointedly. "So nyah!" He immaturely stuck out his striped tongue.

"Watch it, or I'll grab your tongue next." It was an obvious lie, but Dib felt like saying it just to get under Zim's skin. He moved his hand back on the railing and kept his eyes on the other, before speaking up in a more serious tone. His eyes narrowed behind his glasses. "Why are you so outgoing? It's really annoying." A small scowl started to form on his face before he glanced to the side. "What could you possibly be so happy about? Especially since you just moved. Aren't you upset about having to leave your old home?"

"Gimmie!" Zim yanked the book free from Dib unrepentantly. "Zim wants to see what you've been writing while we've been talking." He turned it rightly over to have a look-see.

Inside the beaten up notebook, in the center of the page, was a sketchy pencil drawing of the shorter boy. The drawing was of when he had been sitting on the desk in the classroom. It was easy to tell the drawing was taken from memory, and was a bit sloppy.

Dib quickly sat up as soon as the notebook was stolen from him and gave a loud protest. "Hey, give it back!" He tried to reach for it and almost fell face first off the railing. As soon as he was able to gain his balance back, he moved off the railing a bit easier and tried to snatch the book back. "Quit looking through my things! You don't even like what I do, so give it back."

Zim quickly back tracked, looking the drawing over. "Ohh, so you're artsy-fartsy." He continued to back up, tugging the book each which way as the other tried to grab it from him. "You chose to draw Zim!" The boy was grinning once more, widely and pleased. "Though you didn't capture my greatness exactly great." He flipped it around to show Dib his own drawing. "You could do better." He hopped back a few steps from those grabbie hands of Dib's, grinning over the book.

Dib clenched his hands at his sides and shot Zim a glare, even though the blush from earlier was trying to come back across his face. "Yeah, well, I didn't want you to see it in the first place." he quickly moved a hand out to try and make another grab for the book, but missed completely. That fact baffled him since he was taller than Zim. "Come on Zim, this isn't funny! I don't like other people seeing my work."

"Why?" Zim nodded his head with his question. "Because it's really bad? Are you ashamed?" It then dawned on the green boy, and he turned walking away from Dib. "Oh! I must read more of the disgusting, ralph inducing, hand written bunk drawn here." He then sifted through the pages to read. "Oh! This one looks very stupid! 'My soul cries. Trapped in your eyes. Just one more kiss. Then I'll be missed.'"

Zim's words caused Dib's whole body to tense up, but when the other teen started to read his writing, it caused Dib to bow his head and stay silent. Without even waiting for Zim to say anything else after the words had been read, he immediately walked up to the shorter boy and snatched the book back. The force almost tore a few pages in the book. "I don't need your opinion, nor do I want it." With those words, he turned around to walk back to the railing and leaned down to pack the notebook in his back pack.

Zim watched dryly and clacked his empty claws together. "What? Can't take the truth, face-stabbery?" He pointed. "My opinion is excellent! And that poetry was pure butt extract.” He nodded sagely. "The only good use for those pages is wipe. Well…" the boy faltered a moment. "Except that one of Zim. It's not so crap. Because Zim makes everything great!"

"I'll make sure to burn that page when I get home." Dib lifted his backpack once he stood up and sat back down on the railing with the pack slung over one shoulder. He kept his eyes averted away from Zim, and it was easy to tell he was still in a horrible mood. "You don't have to keep hanging around me. If you really want to see the rest of the skool, then go ahead. I personally hope Slug does whatever he wants to you while you're prancing around the halls. Then maybe I'll get some dignity back"

Zim narrowed his eyes, his hands tightly balling at his sides. Then, out of no where, he marched over to Dib and in one easy motion, swiped the boy's thick rimmed glasses. "I am taking these hostage." He stated in a hard tone, quickly back pedaled from grabbing distance. "Ready to listen to my ransom?" He bared his teeth, holding the glasses by the rim between pointer and thumb.

Dib had to blink a couple of times at his sudden lack of vision. Only then did he try his best to glare at the green and pink blob a few feet in front of him. He didn't even try to get up and grab the lenses, as he would only trip in the process. He really hated having horrible vision sometimes. "What do you want?"

Zim took the careful time and effort to click each arm of the glasses closed; the sound and action amusing him in his victory of the situation, the glare of course didn't bother him one bit. "First, I want you to escort me to the library. Second, I want you to give me any useful information pertaining to this city. And. Third," The teen's lips peeled back and his grin was nothing far from wicked. "I want to know the proper name of my boyfriend."

Dib almost choked at that last bit and quickly looked away at anything he could actually see. "My name is Dib, and I'm not your boyfriend. I already told you that part." He gave a loud frustrated noise under his breath, and stayed silent for a long time after. His eyes kept moving back and forth between the ground and the blob which was Zim. Finally, with a heavy sigh he gave in and spoke again. "Fine, on our way to the library I'll tell you whatever it is you want to know about the city. Now give me my glasses back."

Zim clicked his tongue and waved Dib's glasses chastisingly. "You must agree to ALL the terms before you get the object of desire." He smiled like a razor sharp salesman; not that Dib could see it. "Besides, I won't need your services forever. When you have lived out your purpose, I will dump you. And you can do… um... whatever it is your species does." That grin grew wider. "Yes?"

Dib opened his mouth, about to shout out a heavy protest, but instead closed it just as quickly and dropped his head in his hands. He shook his head from side to side and gave a low groan. "Why do you want me to act as your boyfriend so badly? This is going to be so aggravating for me if I agree to it. The other kids are already starting to talk. If it's made official even more, I would hate to see what happens." He dropped his hands and let them hang between his knees, his head following. "Why?"

"I need a body guard." Zim stated simply, opening the glasses to place them atop his head. "You did well against this 'Slug' creature, I could use that kind of usefulness in things later to come." He placed the glasses in front of his neck, giving a small 'ta-da' after. "It's win-win, trust Zim on this. You do stuff for me, I do stuff for you." He put the glasses on, holding them up to look through. "Ugh! You're so broken, it hurts my sight!" The boy went cross eyed, blinking several times. He pulled them off and quickly rubbed his eyes. So back atop his head he rested them. "While invisibility has its strong points," Zim's rigid grin spread across his face and his eyes narrowed knowingly "reputation does the work before you even lift a finger."

Dib lifted his head back up so he could try his best to look at Zim. "The reputation you want isn't the best one to have." He turned his head just so he could shoot a blind look to the skool's doors, although he ended up looking more at the windows. "I'm not really body guard material. What you saw in there was a fluke. What saved us was your mouth. At any time Slug could have punched me in the face and I would have been knocked out for I'm sure a year tops."

Zim shrugged out his hands and shook his head. "Everyone stupidly thinks Zim is a girl. Which is fine with me. I could care less if they thought I was a tricycle." He crossed his arms. "It works to either of our advantage: not only do I have idiot slugs under my control; but you would have the honor of having the new amazing girl as your," He twirled one hand in gesture "boyfriend-girlfriend-thing. Envy is a powerful tool for manipulation. Rising up the social ladder, you'd have many an advantage." Zim rested a hand out in gesture again. "Besides, you won't be obliged to any of those, uh, thingies, that relationships require: hugging, foreplay, footsies, definitely no kissing. I won't have that stinger tongue near me. Only when it is absolutely necessary to show that we are indeed," Zim wiggled his fingers "'together'." After he was done, Zim smiled wide pleasantly to sell himself; a crocodile could smile more sincerely.

With every last word Zim said, Dib just cringed more and more at the idea. He turned his eyes back down to the ground as he thought it all over, refusing to speak to Zim the entire time after the other teen was done. He kicked up some dirt below as he stalled and only after he was satisfied with the small hole he caused did he speak. "Fine, whatever, I'll do it. Just don't expect much out of it."

The fuzzy outline of dark glasses appeared in Dib's low line of vision, Zim was holding them out for him.

"That's a good Dib." the green boy grinned as he rewarded.

Dib lifted a hand up and snatched the glasses back. He easily placed them on his face and gave a relieved noise at being able to see once more and shot a glare at Zim. Without a word to the shorter boy though, he got up from the railing and made his way up the steps to the doors. Right when he was about to pull the door open was when he finally spoke. "How do you know now that I have my glasses back I won't dump you?" With that, he opened the door and went back inside, classes or not.

Zim let loud an aggravated noise. "YOU'RE MAKING A HORRIBLE BOYFRIEND!" And with that, he furiously ran his hands through his dark hair, yanking at it in his anger. He suddenly stopped and blinked through the veil of hair. "Hm! So- hair does have a good use."