literature

Memories

Deviation Actions

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Literature Text

It wasn’t always like this.

The laughs and the mocking tones. I remember a time when I never used to hear them at all. It was a time when everything was still so new to me and I had just began my conquest to prove everything to everyone around me. I drank in what I was taught, but never gave into the system completely. I was loyal to The Tallest, but still thought too highly of myself. It was a time when only two others could make me become so submissive.

The ones who now loved my misery.

When I think back on it my days in the academy seem so long ago. Everything that has happened in my life since then I suppose that time is just a small speck among everything else. Sadly as much as I wish I could, I can never forget them. Hearing their voices and seeing their faces every day I check in doesn’t allow me to forget. It doesn’t let me forget the words of comfort or the small touches that told me my screw ups were nothing. The sincerity that seemed to be in every single word said to me all those long years ago.

It wasn’t supposed to hurt like this.

I was their pet and I had known it. It had never felt that way though. The way they held me after calming my worries always made me think that maybe I was so much more to them both. The small licks of antenna and skin made the experience all the better and my fears disappeared as if they were never there to begin with. I wanted to keep it all forever and destroy whoever took it away from me. I wanted to continue hearing every word they said.

‘Our precious, Zim. We’ll stay with you.’

‘Yes, we’ll always keep you.’


Lies. Every word was a complete lie.

It was my fault Tallest Spork was gone. The ones I had cared for had become completely wary of me because of such an incident and one before it. I wanted them to hold me again and calm me like they always did, but they wouldn’t even touch me. I needed reassurance and all of the words they told me to let me know I was still a great Irken. Why wouldn’t they give such things to me? I had tried to speak to them before the new ceremony, but they refused to acknowledge me. I was just like any other Irken in that moment. I watched the two I had cared about most become the new leaders without even giving me a glance.

That was when everything crashed around me.

I had to keep asking myself if any of it ever happened. When they became The Tallest they went from what I remembered of all those times to two individuals I never wanted to know. I had been created to always respect my leaders, but after what these two Irkens and myself had gone through how could I not help but question that respect. Every little thing I had ever done wrong in my life was slowly coming back to haunt me in the form of cruelty and banishment. Instead of tender gazes they looked at me as if I were something that just came off the bottoms of their feet. When I had come back to them their annoyance was clear, but I wanted to ignore it if only to get their attention. Just a little bit of what they used to give me.

It was all wishful thinking.

So, I stand here after all of these wasted years staring at a black screen. Just a few hours ago I was speaking to them. I could hear the laughter hidden in their voices, but each time I try so hard to ignore it. It’s never the drive to please my leaders that causes me to keep up the foolish communication. It’s the drive that maybe they’ll want me again. That maybe one day when they answer me, and look at me they’ll realize how much I need them and say they still want to keep me. Until then I still have all of the memories that continue to drag me down and a feeling of emptiness that they used to fill.

At some point it has to all go away.
Birthday gift for ~Kr1mz0n who is an excellent beta for mine and Neo's fic/Rp. Neo and I were in a complete bind and could not keep a beta and finally Krimzon came along and made us happy.

We love her so.

The writing is done by me and the picture was done up for the fic by Neo. I just added a texture and the text as I've always done. As well as a border.

Hope you like it Krim...thanks for the help you've given us thus far. :heart:

~ Image belongs to *neofox and I do have permission to use it.
© 2006 - 2024 omgwtfkitteh
Comments10
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Raquel3333's avatar
AAAAaaaah, i realy need someone to write an explanation from the tallests' pov filled with regret or remorse or something!! They can't just leave it like this!